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Does anyone have experience...forming a relationship with a Deity that hasn't called to you. I mean, I'm sure it would be the same drill - offerings and just listening and such. But any words of advice or experiences to share?
I'm going to cut this, as I've already posted it on my regular journal

My first out-sittingCollapse )
It's been awhile, figured I'd update. Still working on the DP, even though I haven't been posting on it. Just thought I'd lay some fears to rest.

My faith has been a roller coaster as of late. I'm still working on this whole prayer thing too. I believe I'm praying for the wrong things...and in turn it's slowly eroding my faith. I was in a really bad spot in multiple ways about a week ago. Then my friend at work got fired...and I was devastated. For the loss of a good co-worker, yes...but also because I felt that I couldn't really take anymore bad shit. I even remember texting my good friend Kt and telling her that it really wasn't helping and I didn't know if I could make it through yet another bad situation. She reassured me as best as she could, but I was still down. Then the recently fired friend and I hung out all night...and being able to be laid back and as open as we were the first few nights we met was enough for me. The timing was exactly when it needed to be...and it restored my faith. My faith in that friend and what I thought was a slowly dying friendship...and my faith in prayer. I still think I need to work on prayer, and figure out exactly what it means to me.

I did read an interesting thing on offerings on the Norse path. I really don't remember where I was reading, but it stated that we don't offer to bribe the gods. Nor do we offer to reward them for granting us something. We offer to build a relationship. I agree with this, but I think it's easier said then done. I think I was on the right path, sitting Odin and just leaving a beer on the altar for him while I had something to drink as well and I would sit and listen to music, or watch a movie, or read...while burning incense. But then, then I switched to praying *for* something while offering...and I think this is where some of my problems came in because I did wonder when things started going badly. So I think I will try to go back to what I was doing...because I think I was more on track then.

This morning, I pulled Halagaz. At first I was scared, scared maybe I'd get fired (I get paranoid when one of my really good friends and co-workers gets fired). Then I thought maybe it meant I would hear something about my transfer request. But really, really I think it was saying that the destruction that had just happened...the past week and then my friend loosing his job...it's okay. For both of us. I know for a fact that when I dropped him off that night he was better. He didn't want to admit he was upset, he hid it well...but there were a few things that gave it away. I'm glad I could be there for him, but it wasn't unselfish because I needed it too. I needed to know our friendship can survive not being co-workers. This will be a challenge, but right now...I have faith, and that's all I can ask for.


I forgot to mention. I also made an odd observation today. As some of you know (I can't remember if I've written about it here), I sometimes have a hard time accepting Odin in my life still. Everything from just ignoring it for days to all out screaming at him. Oddly, the screaming helps somethings...but anyway. My Thor's Hammer I wore for years straight and would actually feel very uncomfortable if I left the house with out it. The same is not true of my Valknut and sometimes I even hesitate putting it on. Some days I just don't want to wear it and it takes all the strength I have to put it on. The other day was one of those days. The night before was amazing (see above) and I even got home a lit some incense in thanks to Odin...but waking up that morning, no matter how good the night before was, I was hesitant to put on my necklace, but I felt like I needed to. The day was uneventful...it was more about putting it on that morning.

I just wonder...how long am I going to be having a hard time dealing with Odin? Is it really always going to be this hard for me to accept?
I've been tossing around my ideas on Piety for about a week or so...and I'm still not where I want them to be... so I figured I'd write a bit here and see what I get.

RamblingsCollapse )
Sorry to disappoint ;)

You know that whole calm before the storm thing? Well, I've felt disconnected from Odin lately... and I just have this feeling that he's up to no good. Like quiet children. Let's hope this is me being paranoid. Let's face it, you'll definitely hear about it either way.

On Saturday, I was woken up by the first Thunderstorm of the year. It was awesome! It shook the house. When I rolled over and went back to sleep, I had the most vivid dreams about a certain love interest of mine until I was once again woken up by the storm. It was almost like all the energy happening around me while I slept was getting filtered into my dreams. It was wild.

Also, weird things have been happening. I've always been rather sensitive to things. Three times this week I've known when the above mentioned person has been around before actually seeing him. Just the amount that this is happening is kind of odd. Then, when I knew he had come back to the house when he should've been at work even though I was a floor and three rooms away in the shower...that was creepy. Later that day, as I was walking down the aisle he was in at work he stopped me and went "I definitely smelled your shampoo about three seconds before you rounded the corner." I was taken aback, not only is it me - it's starting with him too.

((I apologize for this post being random and jumbled. I've been in a weird state of mind lately))
Odin got three offerings tonight:

-Me dancing

The last to are huge accomplishments for me personally, so I almost feel guilty saying they were offerings as they were so liberating and personal...but I suppose that makes them great offerings!

My Protogrove honored Brigid for Imbolg. It was very nice, and I think everyone was pleased.

During the Deities, I called on Odin and Selene. Now usually, I just feel them with me or know they're there or sometimes even just assume because I don't feel them. Anyway, this time I felt them both manifest (is that the right word?). I felt Odin standing behind me, hand on shoulder in a sort of protective aspect. Right after I felt Selene come down, stand by me briefly and then go to stand behind Chris and just smile at me. I didn't know how to take this. I didn't know if it was a friendly smile, or a chaotic smile. I didn't know if it was "This is my boy, I'm not your patron no matter how hard you pray" or if she was encouraging me. I guess this is part of my love hate relationship with her...I don't know what to make of it. It just is. That's all well and good, but if you know me...I never really leave anything alone until I pick at it enough that I feel I understand. Yes, I probably shouldn't...maybe I won't. I don't really know. I'm just recording what happened.

I've read somewhere that Odin and the moon have some kind of relationship? Or something like that...some tie...something. Anyone know? I'd love to know if there is in fact one.
After some soul searching last night and reading some ADF Warrior emails this morning. I realized that while I accepted Odin as a Patron, I hadn't done anything further. I've spent month's staring at the Valknot sitting on my shelf, in front of my computer monitor. Longing to wear it, but not thinking it time. Well, after both those things I decided it was time. I did a small ritual, poured Hard Cider, toasted the gods, read a poem, and put on the Valknot.

Odin and I have an understanding that right now this is temporary. Heck, maybe it's just me who thinks this...but in the conversation I said that I would wear the Valknot and be His for the three years. After that, we will see. I'll hopefully find out why he's around, if it's just to guide me through this and make me stronger or if he's around to stay.

Anyway... The poem I used, omen, and pictures:

Wearing the Valknot

As I close the clasp of my valknot chain
I offer my neck to the noose again
And bind myself with the trifold triangle
To Hár, and wyrd´s tight-woven tangle.

With points and sides of three times three
As Ygg´s nine nights upon the Tree
It marks me willing sacrifice,
Rewarded as I pay the price;

As I pass ecstasy and pain
I lose myself, myself to gain;
This sign of fire, way and aim,
Leads me through darkness and through flame.

I pledge the fullness of my life,
My fealty to the Lord of Strife,
I choose to wear the knot of death
And give myself with every breath.

From here

My set up and omenCollapse )
I'm beginning to see that my path has changed a little bit in my personal life. New things have been happening and it seems to be marking a new chapter.

With this, I thought it wise to take a moment and pray to Ganesha. For starting a new journey, and also for continuing to aid in the removal of obstacles.

Great Lord of Wisdom,
Here I stand with so many decisions to make,
With so many ways to turn.
I beg for Your grace.
Fill me with righteous judgment and
Clear discrimination as I lay all confessions
At your holy feet and
Immerse myself in you, Ganesha</b>
When I hear "wisdom" I always think of the Serenity Prayer. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference." This is how I perceive wisdom. I used to think of it as a "Wise Elder" type of thing and to an extent this still holds true but less in the aspect of a figure of authority and more in the aspect of learning from your experiences and then being able to use past experiences and knowledge to guide you. Whether it be as simple as avoiding a food that makes you sick, or as complicated as choosing the right path for yourself. Wisdom stems from knowing yourself just as much as from knowing the world around you. Know yourself, know your limits. Wisdom also comes from interpretation. Watching people and observing speech and body language to judge how they will react to a situation and then using this information to effect the situation when it is needed.

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